This little tip comes from a couple that’s been married nearly forty years. Their joy in each other never ceases to amaze me. They have grown children who complain that their parents’ relationship sets too high a standard. The nerve!
One day over an all-girls brunch a bunch of us younger chicks pecked our wise friend for marriage advice since she so obviously had something good going. She had lots of good advice, but the one that really stuck with me was …
… walk don’t yell.
She said, “I respect him.”
She went on to explain, “When we’re across the house from each other, like I’m downstairs and he’s upstairs, it’s easy to just yell upstairs for him. But I don’t. I’ll walk all the way upstairs and look for him and then talk to him like a reasonable person instead of yelling at him. Yelling is easy; walking upstairs isn’t convenient but it’s the right thing to do.
You probably wouldn’t just yell at a stranger, so why would you yell at your spouse?”
No one really likes to be yelled at.