Why dost thou forsaken me???

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This is my second—or is it the third?—attempt to make chocolate pudding pie.

It hates me. No matter how much I try coax it, tell it how pretty it is, how sexy it looks … it just smirks and gives me the finger.

Why won’t this stupid thing set? I can make instant pudding, no problem. It’s powder, you add milk, you beat, you let set for five minutes and voila, chocolate pudding. Easy peasy.

But when I follow the directions for the pie filling I CAN’T GET THE FARGIN’ THING TO SET!

Why?

I feel lame. Inadequate. Like a puny, pitiful, non-cook of a person. Like, it’s time to just turn in my Kitchen Aid mixer and go back to bed, never to return to the kitchen.

I mean, seriously, how hard can this be? For heaven’s sake, it’s instant pudding!

ooohh. Whoa is me.

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