Recently, a friend copied me on an email to her mom with the following quotes from online suitors and a header that said, “one of these could be your future son-in-law.” I nearly peed my pants laughing so hard. Hope you do, too.
the profile of one suitor:
“long haired white boy,who is 85% covered in tattoos,i also sling ink,lift weight and ride H.D. motorcycles.I am looking for a white female at least shoulder length hair tats are always a turn on,must have real teeth,and in good shape,employed or rich will all so workas well”
“Im looking for some one sweet,honest & senciere who enjoys good times indoors & outdoors aswell a companion & a friend , and I cook too…a very good one I might add!!” [My mother’s reply to this was, “I don’t know exactly what senciere is but it sounds kinda European and sofistacated.”–Aforementioned Friend]
“My Spirit asks for tenderness and amour from a woman, whose scent may very well bring me to my knees. Earth Mother rejoices as Pele of Hawai’i welcomes in the Aquarian Age! Give thanks for the feminine juices flowing like a river of hope for all of Mankind…
“I’m looking for a petite woman that would like to take advantage of my employement in the adult industry.”